


we're in the weirdest places

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Pranks and Practical Jokes, eridan suffers the brunt of their practical jokes, humans in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 10:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15192368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: kinda funny how time changes things, huh? you'll go with the flow. have some fun.as long as you're all together





	we're in the weirdest places

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jakebot_Archive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakebot_Archive/gifts).



> I love this ship, its so cute! They all fit really well together too, and i think they could really help each other out!
> 
> Anything from adventuring to watching movies to 'check out this cool skeleton i found!', ill love it. Their interactions would be hilarious like jake and aradia have a lot of common interests, tavros would probably love playing games and just tearing through the neighborhood in search of 'treasures' and 'the thrill of the hunt!' and hes friends with aradia from before the game and trusts her deeply. They work so well!

People end up in the  _weirdest_  places. We're probably the best example of that, actually! One of the best. There's a lot of other weirdness out there that you wouldn't expect, but hey, how often do you get someone with a degree in the fine field of archaeology working a police station?

Don't answer that. As Jake (or John, honestly, those guys need to stop quoting everything), never tell me the odds!

Besides, I already know that the odds of all three of us being assigned to the same station is kind of unlikely. Maybe. Things happen, assignments get made, and hey! I'm not complaining. There's a lot the three of us can get up to when we're all working together.

Jake's still getting used to everything. I don't really blame him, this jump to suddenly being part of the greater galactic community was a huge one for all the humans, but I think he's doing pretty well! He's got Tavros and me to help him adjust, and he thinks we're pretty awesome. And we are!

Except, maybe, when we're getting him into heaps of trouble.

 

* * *

 

Most of the time, our captain's kind of a pain in the ass. Eridan's mellowed out, some, over the past few sweeps, but he's also just... _like_  that, as a person, which means that he  _occasionally_  needs to be pranked, to get his head out of his own ass. There may or may not be a running competition aboard the ship, but he doesn't need to know that.

(According to Feferi, he  _does_  know, and has been banned from participating in the multitude of betting pools, as he can't seem to refrain from manipulating the outcomes.)

Jake, Tavros, and I (as a team, of course!) are  _the_  reigning champions.

Unfortunately, keeping that much-contested position means that the three of us  _really_  have to innovate, just to keep ahead of the curve.

 

A Truncated List of Certain Pranks and Their Outcomes:

 

  * Dying his hair streak Feferi's pink
    * He'd been incredibly flustered by it, especially when Feferi commented on how "adorabubble" the color was on him.
  * Dying his hair streak any other color
    * _Rage and fury_.
  * Hair product swap
    * Apparently the Captain's hair is naturally curly?
      * SIDE NOTE: perhaps it might be a seadweller thing? as i recall, feferi has incredibly curly hair as well! - jake
      * SIDE NOTE: 000h! y0u might be right, we sh0uld check that 0ut 0u0 - aradia
  * Moving everything in his block an inch to the left
    * _Rage and confusion._
  * Swapping his room with someone else's in the middle of a week-long paperwork bender
    * Complete confusion, he'd apologized awkwardly, then gone back to his office and fallen asleep there.
      * SIDE NOTE: uHH, i ACTUALLY FELT KIND OF BAD FOR THIS ONE? - tavros
  * The Sticky Note Incident
    * There's actually an Imperial Nondisclosure Order on this one.



 

Pranking, of any degree, isn't exactly a problem for us. Considering how long Tavros and I pretty much  _ran_  our non-fatal FLARP league, we're a hell of a lot better at keeping it clean than most of the other guys on this ship, too! It gives us an edge when it comes to the competition, especially considering that Eridan's  _first_  order was "no unnecessary deaths".

(That was actually a shocker? I mean, I  _knew_  he mellowed out, but not  _that_  much!)

 

Jake, while nowhere near as much of a prankster as John or Jane, was pretty quick to pick things up. We all started dating before we got our assignments—I ran into him on a field dig, Tavros spotted him at a restaurant, and the "coincidences" kept piling up until we realized that he'd been living in our part of the planet for a while, trying to work up the nerve to talk to us, but cluckbeasting out each time—and he was  _always_  excited to learn something new.

Actually...we'd been kind of nervous that he wouldn't get assigned to us. Humans were still finding their feet when it came to everything, like I said! They still are, I think. Sure, it was a given that Tavros and I would get assigned together. If you're good enough at what you do that the Empire wants to keep you  _slightly_  less miserable, you're assigned to a ship with your clade, or as much of it as can be feasibly placed there.

(There are several other logistical reasons for that, but those seem to be pretty universal. It's only recently that the bar has been raised from "slightly less miserable" to "possibly happy".)

(I'm pretty sure that would be the human influence on the throne.)

 

Between the end of the game, and the start of our assignment here, things had changed. As far as we could tell, it was for the better, by a lot—but then again, Tavros and I were already ready to tear down the world to keep each other safe.

It's kind of nice that we don't have to do that anymore (unless we want to), and even more nice that we get to bring Jake along with us.

 

And even  _better_  that we're going to be putting some dye in the Captain's saltwater pool today.


End file.
